Olivia, 9 years old, is having a really tough time with Alex lately. Liv and Alex are only a year apart, and have always been close, she has taught him so much and been so patient and compassionate with him. But as she becomes more aware of herself, others, and relationships between people she is becoming more critical of him. She is noticing people stare at Alex, sometimes making comments or asking questions, getting annoyed by his behavior (especially in public), and not wanting to spend time with him. As she grows and tries to work on her own changes, she is less patient with his. She has openly said she wishes she could have a normal brother, why does he have to be this way, she doesn't like him anymore, etc.

This coming from the girl who wouldn't think twice about seeing another child with special needs, and would tell her friends not to stare. This coming from the girl who would tell other kids that asked what was wrong with Alex and say they didn't want to get near him to catch what they had, would stand tall and explain that he was born this way, you could not catch anything from him (sometimes throwing a stupid in there) and that he was just a boy who learned a bit differently than we did. I'm sad. I am sad for her, to be going through this, although I know it is a normal part of family life when you have a child with special needs, it is a burden that I don't want for my girls. I am sad that Alex hears her and feels her anger and has cried because his best friend isn't there for him anymore. I have read all the books, listened to doctors, I know how this works, but like anything, real life situations are so different than situations on paper. The heart is a miraculous organ, what a beating it can take and yet still carries on. Alex is 10 years old, and some days I still wonder how I got to this place, how this is the road I am on. Most days I don't let myself think too much about it, I am so busy with other things, today is not one of those days.........