Friends

Alex and I were on the swings together, just chatting and enjoying being outside, the girls were at a friends house together and it was quiet for a few minutes. He looks at me and says, "mom, I love you." Oh, so sweet. "I love you too bud." He says it again, "Mom, I really love you." Oh-oh, I feel a but coming....."but you're not that fun to play with." What?? I usually think of great things for us to do, what is he talking about? He must have seen my expression and said," well you are fun mom, but I need a friend. A friend to play with." I am getting teary eyed even writing it now, which is how I felt after this conversation. Again, here we go with the mixed feelings - I am so happy, almost amazed, that he can vocalize his feelings like this, that he knows I like spending time with him and we do have fun, but of course it isn't the same as time spent with kids your own age. And then the crushing heartache of hearing him say he needs some friends, that he is aware that he doesn't have play dates unless it is with a group of kids and his sisters are usually involved, that he has kids he calls friends, but he needs to actually be with them, play with them. So I promised him I would try to have a play date for just him soon, very soon. Wow, pretty deep for a quick ride on the swings....